Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
