But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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