is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
