I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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