I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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