found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
