I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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