in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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