My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
