Kiss
Puke
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
