It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
