Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I have so many feelings about this burrito
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
