when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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