am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
