his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
