similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
