Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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