we have pet lesbian snakes
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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