I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
not ubering you a puppy
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
