you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
