The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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