he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
