i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
