There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
