Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
