either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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