what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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