these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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