We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
