I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
3 2 1 whiskey
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
