Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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