biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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