Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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