Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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