this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Randomize
