Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Randomize
