You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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