Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
