that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
