filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
