Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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