If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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