Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
