One girl and one boy is just not enough.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
