am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
