There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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