my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
