Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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