I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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