i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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