well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
